I am so sorry

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I am so sorry

Post by Andrezj Kolarov on Tue Jun 07, 2016 7:16 am

Hi,

I'll be brief, I have no doubt that the GPA now completely views me as a coward, deserter and traitor, and I won't defend myself from that because they're all true. I saw the state of my nation, my lack of resources, my lack of any tanks/aircraft/ships, and most of NK with most of it's members (and nukes) in range of me, and I panicked. I hate myself now for what I did and the shame I feel has been in my head constantly for the last few days during work, it's quite unbearable - I didn't think it was possible to get so emotional over a "game", but then I realized that it's not about the game it's the friendships, the relationships which I betrayed which is what I am guilty about, the GPA sheltered me, protected me, and I repaid that with betrayal at the very time when I could repay that kindness. I became obsessed with the "game" aspect, building my cities and infra, I became a selfish "pixel hugger". I am NOT trying to rationalize my decisions, what I did was wrong, and I'm dying of shame.

I know from the embargoes that the anger against me is real and I accept all that, I do not expect forgiveness or even acceptance, I just want to say that I am not cold and unemotional to what's been happening, I have seen the posts over on the P&W forum and how those bastards NK are trying to write this off as a joke or something, and seeing other bastards like Keegoz and other talking this this nuclear war is justified purely because the GPA wants to live in peace and hurrdurr roll neutrals, it makes me want to just explode in rage, but it also makes me feel even more ashamed that I didn't stand up and fight this evil when I had the chance!

So yeah, I didn't know where to post this but here.
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Sven Shieldmaker on Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:12 am

I speak only for myself..."Then come home and take your lumps".
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Solaris on Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:22 am

Good job, Kolarov. Maybe this would be a lesson for those who want to leave GPA during the war like spineless fools.

Help your brothers out. Do not leave the alliance just because a war is happening. Defend GPA. Defend for what you stand for.
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Shinzo Abe on Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:58 am

I respect you for coming here and apologising.
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Prezyan on Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:14 am

Andrezj Kolarov wrote:I saw the state of my nation, my lack of resources, my lack of any tanks/aircraft/ships, and most of NK with most of it's members (and nukes) in range of me, and I panicked.

This is why the GPA should actively harass enforce their members to maintain a strong military.
Too bad whoever does it will get impeached and then put into probation whilst they didn't break any laws except the "spirit" of those said nonexistent laws.

...

Too soon?
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Andrezj Kolarov on Tue Jun 07, 2016 11:21 am

Prezyan wrote:
Andrezj Kolarov wrote:I saw the state of my nation, my lack of resources, my lack of any tanks/aircraft/ships, and most of NK with most of it's members (and nukes) in range of me, and I panicked.

This is why the GPA should actively harass enforce their members to maintain a strong military.
Too bad whoever does it will get impeached and then put into probation whilst they didn't break any laws except the "spirit" of those said nonexistent laws.

...

Too soon?
They do. I was breaking GPA rules by not keeping adequate military forces on hand, as well as selling my resource stockpiles to maintain rapid city/infra building. It's all on me I'm afraid.
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Optima on Tue Jun 07, 2016 5:17 pm

Andrezj Kolarov wrote:
Prezyan wrote:
Andrezj Kolarov wrote:I saw the state of my nation, my lack of resources, my lack of any tanks/aircraft/ships, and most of NK with most of it's members (and nukes) in range of me, and I panicked.

This is why the GPA should actively harass enforce their members to maintain a strong military.
Too bad whoever does it will get impeached and then put into probation whilst they didn't break any laws except the "spirit" of those said nonexistent laws.

...

Too soon?
They do. I was breaking GPA rules by not keeping adequate military forces on hand, as well as selling my resource stockpiles to maintain rapid city/infra building. It's all on me I'm afraid.

I'm sure this is a simple measure (I hope) which can be cleared up with a rap on the knuckles, a fine, and maybe some probation. Contingent on your achieving and maintaining specified military levels. I'm not government, so I can't guarantee you anything, but past repercussions for the same exact actions, have been fair and amicable to both sides.

Come home, lets make this right.
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Re: I am so sorry

Post by kalev60 on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:25 am

I really believe in second changes if people to whom they are given are worth it. So I have no strong feelings here.
I also don't believe in poaching so I'm not going to ask you to come back as some already have here, but I'm speaking for myself here so: I don't see no reasons in the future if you wish to return to make that impossible for you.

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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Gills on Wed Jun 08, 2016 12:06 pm

Prezyan wrote:
Andrezj Kolarov wrote:I saw the state of my nation, my lack of resources, my lack of any tanks/aircraft/ships, and most of NK with most of it's members (and nukes) in range of me, and I panicked.

This is why the GPA should actively harass enforce their members to maintain a strong military.
Too bad whoever does it will get impeached and then put into probation whilst they didn't break any laws except the "spirit" of those said nonexistent laws.

...

Too soon?

Funny thing is that the person who started the whole impeachment things is now gone. It's okay Andrezj, you apologized. I'm more bothered by those who leave and never say anything about that.

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Re: I am so sorry

Post by Andrezj Kolarov on Thu Jun 30, 2016 3:10 pm

kalev60 wrote:I really believe in second changes if people to whom they are given are worth it. So I have no strong feelings here.
I also don't believe in poaching so I'm not going to ask you to come back as some already have here, but I'm speaking for myself here so: I don't see no reasons in the future if you wish to return to make that impossible for you.
Would you mind if I applied to return to GPA?
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Re: I am so sorry

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